Eek. I can't believe I am admitting it to everyone now. A little over a year ago, I felt like the Lord was telling (or shoving) me back into school. I was happy as a stay at home mom, but Brian and I decided that it was time for me to go back to work. I had no idea what that looked like for me and I prayed about it for a while before someone very dear to me mentioned going back to school for nursing. I started college the first time around with the intentions of completing a nursing program, but my priorities were a little different and I switched majors. I have always felt the pull back into nursing so I decided to do a little research and found an accelerated nursing program for people that already have a bachelors degree and that would have me graduating in a year with a BSN. That's right, nursing school in a year. I was sold. (and I was CRAZY) I talked to the wise people in my life and prayed pretty hard about making this decision that would completely change our lives. Completing nursing school in a year means that I am gone all day, every day and then work after the kids go to bed every night. It meant a lot of changes for our family.
Things seemed to fall right into place. I took a step and the Lord provided the next one. My friend ended up working in the nursing admissions office at the school I was applying to and she helped me get all my stuff together. I figured out how to take all my prerequisite classes online. My (awesome) church started a preschool program for staff kids that is completely amazing. (I'll post on that later) Brian had a good, strong team around him at work so he was able to support me more. My mom's cousin gave us a car for me to drive so that Brian could drive the "mom" car. I mean right and left, the Lord was telling me to move.
So that meant I actually had to move. Terrifying. I read a story in a book that talks about this guy that tight rope walks across Niagara Falls. People come and watch him, amazed. One time he put a pet (a dog maybe?) in a wheel barrow and pushed it across the tight rope. All the spectators watched in shock as he pushed the wheel barrow swiftly back and forth across. He asked the onlookers if anyone would volunteer to get in the wheel barrow, but of course no one would. They had just watched him easily push a pet across, but no one trusted them with their own life. No one had that much faith. Jesus asks us this all the time. Do you have that much faith in me to take a step of obedience? Nursing school for me felt like this. Okay God. I'll be the crazy one to get into your wheel barrow. I'm scared to death, but I trust you. I trust you to help me figure out this new chapter of life. I trust that you will take care of my family in my absence. I trust that you will protect my kids.
So, I got in. I started nursing school this past summer. It is by far the hardest, most exhausting thing I have ever done. I've learned to lean in to God more than ever. I've learned what it means to come to the end of myself and have to fully rely on Him to get me through and fill the gaps. I've had to learn to let people help me. (something I've also learned I'm not that great at) But there was SO much goodness in the midst of the chaos. My kids have thrived in school and didn't struggle like I anticipated. My husband really stepped up and has done EVERYTHING around the house from laundry to dishes. He packs the kids lunches and gets them ready in the morning. He is AWESOME and I couldn't do this without him and all of his help. My friends have prayed for me and supported me endlessly even though I didn't have anything to give them back. I met awesome girls on the very first day of school that keep me going. I'm thankful for how much my faith is growing and strengthening. I know when this is all over in May, I will be better off than I was when I started. My family will be better. My marriage will be better. Our finances will be better. I will be better.
Starting back today was a little bittersweet. I'm excited for some of the classes I'm taking this semester, but I'm not excited about the stress and long hours. I'll be taking 21 credit hours, yikes. Another semester of stretching, I'm sure.
I hope to keep up the blog. I can't promise the posts will be regular or the content long, but I do want to share life. I was feeling the urge to start this up again and I wasn't so sure because I didn't have time to do anything last semester, let alone a blog. Then I scrolled down to this quote "Sometimes the best ways to share our faith is to simply share our lives and our stories" and I thought, okay I can do that. So here's to sharing my story: how a mom of two makes her way through accelerated nursing school. Ha! (prayers appreciated ;) )
Ash
Ash
